In honor of Poe's 200th birthday (actually in January, but I think a 200th can be celebrated all year), and by my friend Bonnie's request, I have chosen to discuss the gruesome subject of being buried alive.
While being buried alive would definitely not be at the top of any one's list of "The Best Ways to Die" it does seem to be a favorite of authors, both of literary works and screenplays. Poe himself used it multiple times.
In addition to the story I have named in the title of this blog, there are many movies, books and episodes of television shows that center around a character being buried alive. A few examples: In Kill Bill: Volume 2, by Quentin Tarantino, the heroine is buried alive and escapes by punching through the coffin. In the 'Lost' episode 'Exposé' two characters are taken for dead and buried alive (in this case not on purpose.) There is a movie actually titled "Buried Alive." Nick Stokes was buried alive on CSI and Dr. Brennan and Dr. Hodgins are buried alive together in one episode of "Bones."
From the criminal's point of view, burying someone alive would seem to be one of the best options. No messy cleanup, and a lower chance of being caught. This crime is not, however, for the faint of heart. The victim of this crime is likely to make quite a racket when they discover their fate, and in general, I find, listening to that can be tedious. Take for example, the hero (antihero?) of The Cask of Amontillado. Montresor actually stops to listen to his friend (I use that term lightly, as I don't think many people would bury an actual friend of theirs alive) plead for his life. He even finds some sick pleasure in listening to the cries for help. Of course, you could always drug the person. or if they were near death when you buried them, there might be less chance that they make noise.
On the other side of the issue, while being buried alive is an awful way to go, it also offers more possibility of escape. Someone intent on murder is much more likely to succeed with a gun, a knife, baseball bat, a syringe of some poison or drug... I could go on , but I think you get the picture. At least if you are buried alive, you might find a way out of the situation. Maybe someone will hear your cries for help. Or if you're Uma Thurman, Buffy, or Dean Winchester, you could just punch your way out of the coffin and dig yourself out of the grave.
Also, if you wake up and find yourself buried, there is a chance it was accidental. Its horrible that someone would be so negligent, but at least no one was trying to kill you. A comforting thought as you suffocate. Or not. It does make a good argument for cremation, as there is no chance you will "wake up" in an urn on your family's mantle.
If anyone has been buried alive, I would certainly be interested in hearing a first hand account of the experience.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Dust Bunnies....we know they are made of dust, but how do we know they are bunnies?
Disclaimer: I let my mother pick my topic today, and this is what she came up with.
I admit when my mom first said this, I laughed but I wasn't sure I would be able to say much on the subject. In fact, if my mom hadn't continued rambling about it I might not have anything to say.
It is curious that we call them dust"bunnies" when I have never seen one larger than a mouse. And given the fact that neither my mother nor I are particularly fond of cleaning, if anybody were to have a bunny size ball of dust, it would be us. Although if I were to come across one so large we would probably send out for help.
They hide every where, in corners, under your bed, in your broom. They are extremely sneaky and can easily escape you on the slightest puff of air. My mom is something of a conspiracy theorist, and thinks they could be spies. Although, she isn't sure which country might be controlling them.
Another suggestion from my mother is that they are just bunny parts, because when they come together they make an even bigger bunny. In fact they are very similar to transformers that way. That would make them aliens from another planet. I'm okay with that as long as they are here for good, and not to take over the planet.
We have never once caught them coming into or exit the house. They seem to appear from nowhere, and they are remarkably similar to their namesake in that they multiply rapidly. In addition, dust bunnies never leave you a basket of treats, hidden or otherwise. Although, it is possible that they are Jewish, and therefore do not celebrate Easter.
On the plus side they never leave their dropping around the house. They are very quiet...no wild parties. And they seem very loving, because we see them all the time. Incredibly despite their effect on humans' allergies, dust bunnies never seem to be sick, as I have never once seen one in a hospital.
There are real gray bunnies, but there are also black, brown, white and spotted bunnies. Dust bunnies on the other hand, only come in gray. Is this because gray bunnies are the best? Or is it because gray bunnies were the low bunny on the totem pole. Perhaps we'll never know.
Thoughts?
I admit when my mom first said this, I laughed but I wasn't sure I would be able to say much on the subject. In fact, if my mom hadn't continued rambling about it I might not have anything to say.
It is curious that we call them dust"bunnies" when I have never seen one larger than a mouse. And given the fact that neither my mother nor I are particularly fond of cleaning, if anybody were to have a bunny size ball of dust, it would be us. Although if I were to come across one so large we would probably send out for help.
They hide every where, in corners, under your bed, in your broom. They are extremely sneaky and can easily escape you on the slightest puff of air. My mom is something of a conspiracy theorist, and thinks they could be spies. Although, she isn't sure which country might be controlling them.
Another suggestion from my mother is that they are just bunny parts, because when they come together they make an even bigger bunny. In fact they are very similar to transformers that way. That would make them aliens from another planet. I'm okay with that as long as they are here for good, and not to take over the planet.
We have never once caught them coming into or exit the house. They seem to appear from nowhere, and they are remarkably similar to their namesake in that they multiply rapidly. In addition, dust bunnies never leave you a basket of treats, hidden or otherwise. Although, it is possible that they are Jewish, and therefore do not celebrate Easter.
On the plus side they never leave their dropping around the house. They are very quiet...no wild parties. And they seem very loving, because we see them all the time. Incredibly despite their effect on humans' allergies, dust bunnies never seem to be sick, as I have never once seen one in a hospital.
There are real gray bunnies, but there are also black, brown, white and spotted bunnies. Dust bunnies on the other hand, only come in gray. Is this because gray bunnies are the best? Or is it because gray bunnies were the low bunny on the totem pole. Perhaps we'll never know.
Thoughts?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Eight Things I Love About Joss Whedon...
I just have to take a minute out of my day and express to you how much I love Joss Whedon. I think that this man is a genius and I would give my left arm to meet him or be in in a show he created. There are many things I love about Mr. Whedon, but I have prepared a short list for you, my readers.
1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer - My favorite show of all time. I own all seven seasons and still watch them. There are so many things to love about Buffy, but the most important is that this was a show that was built around a female superhero. Buffy was no Wonder Woman, she had flaws, but we loved her all the more for them. Over seven seasons she saved the world multiple times, and at the same time dealt with everyday problems. Her mom died, her sister rebelled, friends betrayed her, boys gave her drama, and through it all she prevailed. Buffy gave hope that anything could be conquered if you try hard enough.
2) Dollhouse - I have been waiting for a new show from Joss, and I was not disappointed. This show has everything I have some to expect from Whedon, interesting, conflicted characters, twisty plots, and a compelling main character. Not to mention, it brought Eliza Dushku back to TV.
3) Guest-starring on Veronica Mars - Joss Whedon didn't create the show Veronica Mars, but he definitely paved the way for it. Multiple Buffy alums guested on this show, but I was thrilled when Joss himself made a special appearance as an annoying supervisor at a car-rental place. It was a perfectly understated way for him to show that he appreciated and respected the show.
4) Nathan Fillion - One of my favorite actors, who Joss Whedon made into a star. He started on Buffy as the creepy clergyman Caleb, then became the leading man in the short lived, but much loved Firefly and its companion movie Serenity. Now he is on a non-Whedon show called Castle, but I firmly believe Fillion owes his success to Joss Whedon.
5) Mutant Enemy and the Grrr, Argh - If you have never seen a Whedon show, then this won't make any sense to you at all. Every episode of a show created by Joss Whedon ends with a monster running across the screen and saying "Grrr, Argh!" Not really a genius things in and of itself, but its cute, and it is unmistakably Joss Whedon's.
6) Once More, With Feeling - As a fan of musicals in general, I was overjoyed with the musical episode of Buffy. This gets its own number on the list because it was so spectacular. Whedon wrote all for the music himself, all the stars did their own singing, the opening credits were clever, the Grr, Argh! at the end was sung like opera, I could go on forever.
7) The comics - When fans weren't happy with the end results of Whedon's shows, he didn't argue, he wrote more. Angel, Buffy, and Firefly all got comics that continue the story for those fans who just can't let go. (I'll admit, I am one.)
8) Angel - Angel was a much loved character on Buffy, but it was clear that he couldn't remain at Buffy's side forever. Instead, he got his own show, which made it possible for Cordelia and Wesley to continue in the world of Whedon, and introduced us to more interesting characters in Fred and Gunn. It also provided an avenue for Spike to return from the grave after his spectacular fiery death on Buffy. Pleasing all those Spike fans out there who were sad to see him go. (Again, me!)
I could continue to list things I love about Joss Whedon, but it would probably bore you. Suffice it to say, if you haven't experienced this man's creative genius, you should. I promise you won't be disappointed.
1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer - My favorite show of all time. I own all seven seasons and still watch them. There are so many things to love about Buffy, but the most important is that this was a show that was built around a female superhero. Buffy was no Wonder Woman, she had flaws, but we loved her all the more for them. Over seven seasons she saved the world multiple times, and at the same time dealt with everyday problems. Her mom died, her sister rebelled, friends betrayed her, boys gave her drama, and through it all she prevailed. Buffy gave hope that anything could be conquered if you try hard enough.
2) Dollhouse - I have been waiting for a new show from Joss, and I was not disappointed. This show has everything I have some to expect from Whedon, interesting, conflicted characters, twisty plots, and a compelling main character. Not to mention, it brought Eliza Dushku back to TV.
3) Guest-starring on Veronica Mars - Joss Whedon didn't create the show Veronica Mars, but he definitely paved the way for it. Multiple Buffy alums guested on this show, but I was thrilled when Joss himself made a special appearance as an annoying supervisor at a car-rental place. It was a perfectly understated way for him to show that he appreciated and respected the show.
4) Nathan Fillion - One of my favorite actors, who Joss Whedon made into a star. He started on Buffy as the creepy clergyman Caleb, then became the leading man in the short lived, but much loved Firefly and its companion movie Serenity. Now he is on a non-Whedon show called Castle, but I firmly believe Fillion owes his success to Joss Whedon.
5) Mutant Enemy and the Grrr, Argh - If you have never seen a Whedon show, then this won't make any sense to you at all. Every episode of a show created by Joss Whedon ends with a monster running across the screen and saying "Grrr, Argh!" Not really a genius things in and of itself, but its cute, and it is unmistakably Joss Whedon's.
6) Once More, With Feeling - As a fan of musicals in general, I was overjoyed with the musical episode of Buffy. This gets its own number on the list because it was so spectacular. Whedon wrote all for the music himself, all the stars did their own singing, the opening credits were clever, the Grr, Argh! at the end was sung like opera, I could go on forever.
7) The comics - When fans weren't happy with the end results of Whedon's shows, he didn't argue, he wrote more. Angel, Buffy, and Firefly all got comics that continue the story for those fans who just can't let go. (I'll admit, I am one.)
8) Angel - Angel was a much loved character on Buffy, but it was clear that he couldn't remain at Buffy's side forever. Instead, he got his own show, which made it possible for Cordelia and Wesley to continue in the world of Whedon, and introduced us to more interesting characters in Fred and Gunn. It also provided an avenue for Spike to return from the grave after his spectacular fiery death on Buffy. Pleasing all those Spike fans out there who were sad to see him go. (Again, me!)
I could continue to list things I love about Joss Whedon, but it would probably bore you. Suffice it to say, if you haven't experienced this man's creative genius, you should. I promise you won't be disappointed.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
My name is Jessica, and I am a TV on DVD addict
Whoever came up with the brilliant idea to put TV shows on video and DVD deserves both my eternal respect and my deepest scorn. This person, or persons, if it was a group effort, have brought me hours of pleasure, and caused me to waste money and time I don't have. If only the TV shows on DVD were free, my problems would disappear. (Well, okay, I would still procrastinate, but that is a side effect I am willing to deal with.)
My first TV show on DVD was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my favorite TV show of all time. I didn't even buy the seasons in order, instead I purchased them based on how often Spike appeared in episodes. This first show was not where the problem started, however. I bought most of them used or on sale, and I had a good job at the time. I had also seen most of the episodes previously, so I didn't feel the need to sit and watch entire seasons in one or two days.
My next show was also pretty cheap. I bought seasons 1 and 2 of One Tree Hill for $12 each. It would be more expensive to rent them, I reasoned, choosing to ignore the fact that this show was still on air, and I would have to continue buying seasons if I wanted to finish my collection. I stayed up all night Friday to watch season one, and could barely keep my eyes open at work the next day. When I got home, even though I was tired, I put in disc one of season two. Two days later and I was aching for season three, which was due out on DVD that Tuesday. I was at the store early Tuesday morning, (before work, which was freaking early, and I am not a morning person) to buy it at full price. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting until it went on sale. I would say that moment is where my addiction started. The instant gratification of watching an entire season of a show without having to wait week by week for new episodes was undeniable. I started buying any TV show that looked remotely interesting. Charmed, The Lost World, Prison Break, 21 Jump Street, Joan of Arcadia, Angel, I could list more, but I think you get the picture.
So, I was spending money and wasting time watching endless hours of TV, completely unaware I had a problem. And I would have continued in this state, had the "Alias Complete Series Box Set" never been released. I had to have it. I went to Best Buy, Discover card in hand, and bought a limited edition gold box that included all five seasons, a bonus disk, and a booklet. It was beautiful. Never mind that I had never watched a single episode of Alias and had no idea if I would even like it. I dropped almost $200 on a TV show. When I got home and proudly displayed my new purchase to my brother, he said to me, "Jess, you just lost your job, why are you spending money on something so dumb?"
His words struck me like a baseball bat to the head. And it hurt, just not enough to make me return that box set. I wasn't until a few months later, as my credit card balance increased and my income remained non-existent that I acknowledged to myself that I had a problem.
You will be happy to know that I am much better these days. I have not completely kicked my habit, but I do limit myself to a few shows per year, and I have sold some of the TV shows that I bought and never watch. The only new TV on DVD purchases I make are new seasons of Bones, One Tree Hill and Supernatural.
I still have that Alias box set, however. I find it hard to part with, though it is the most valuable of my TV collection, and I could use the money. Someday, maybe, I will be strong enough to do it. On that day, I'll know that I have conquered my addiction. Until then, pray for me, because I love the show Chuck, and season one is on sale now...
My first TV show on DVD was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my favorite TV show of all time. I didn't even buy the seasons in order, instead I purchased them based on how often Spike appeared in episodes. This first show was not where the problem started, however. I bought most of them used or on sale, and I had a good job at the time. I had also seen most of the episodes previously, so I didn't feel the need to sit and watch entire seasons in one or two days.
My next show was also pretty cheap. I bought seasons 1 and 2 of One Tree Hill for $12 each. It would be more expensive to rent them, I reasoned, choosing to ignore the fact that this show was still on air, and I would have to continue buying seasons if I wanted to finish my collection. I stayed up all night Friday to watch season one, and could barely keep my eyes open at work the next day. When I got home, even though I was tired, I put in disc one of season two. Two days later and I was aching for season three, which was due out on DVD that Tuesday. I was at the store early Tuesday morning, (before work, which was freaking early, and I am not a morning person) to buy it at full price. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting until it went on sale. I would say that moment is where my addiction started. The instant gratification of watching an entire season of a show without having to wait week by week for new episodes was undeniable. I started buying any TV show that looked remotely interesting. Charmed, The Lost World, Prison Break, 21 Jump Street, Joan of Arcadia, Angel, I could list more, but I think you get the picture.
So, I was spending money and wasting time watching endless hours of TV, completely unaware I had a problem. And I would have continued in this state, had the "Alias Complete Series Box Set" never been released. I had to have it. I went to Best Buy, Discover card in hand, and bought a limited edition gold box that included all five seasons, a bonus disk, and a booklet. It was beautiful. Never mind that I had never watched a single episode of Alias and had no idea if I would even like it. I dropped almost $200 on a TV show. When I got home and proudly displayed my new purchase to my brother, he said to me, "Jess, you just lost your job, why are you spending money on something so dumb?"
His words struck me like a baseball bat to the head. And it hurt, just not enough to make me return that box set. I wasn't until a few months later, as my credit card balance increased and my income remained non-existent that I acknowledged to myself that I had a problem.
You will be happy to know that I am much better these days. I have not completely kicked my habit, but I do limit myself to a few shows per year, and I have sold some of the TV shows that I bought and never watch. The only new TV on DVD purchases I make are new seasons of Bones, One Tree Hill and Supernatural.
I still have that Alias box set, however. I find it hard to part with, though it is the most valuable of my TV collection, and I could use the money. Someday, maybe, I will be strong enough to do it. On that day, I'll know that I have conquered my addiction. Until then, pray for me, because I love the show Chuck, and season one is on sale now...
Monday, February 16, 2009
At 5' 5'' in the Editorial Column we have....
This first post will serve as an introduction to my blog and to me. I feel it only fair to warn you that I have opinion and I am not afraid to share it. This is, in fact, the very problem that keeps me from pursuing a career in anything remotely related to my college degree. When I majored in Journalism, I had high hopes. Dreams of a column in a famous music magazine, my own radio show, fame, fortune, you get the picture. What I failed to realize (as many young college students do) is that in order to obtain these things, I would first have to work in menial, low-paying, thankless jobs at little newspapers and radio stations, slowly working my way up the ladder of notoriety and success. While in theory I am not against these things, I have a few problems actually practicing them.
The most important problem, which I touched on earlier, is my opinionated nature. In journalism, most newspapers are looking for fair, balanced, non-biased, objective (the list of adjectives could go forever) articles. I am a very talented writer....of editorial pieces...my talent does not run to hard news. Woodward and Bernstein I am not.
My second major problem with the aforementioned menial jobs is, to be frank, money. If you are alive (and since you are reading this, I assume you to be) you cannot be unaware of the economic problems facing pretty much everyone on the planet. I, sadly, am not a celebrity and therefore have just as many bills to pay as every other person. My biggest debt is my college education that I am not even using...gee dad, so glad I listened to you when you said this was an investment in my future.
My third problem, and the least important, is that I lack a virtue known to most as patience. I just don't want to wait to earn my opinion column, I want to write it now.
When I am not at my day job, I read. Books, magazines, newspapers, and blogs. I said myself, "Self, everyone has a blog, you can too. Maybe no one will read it, but that's okay, because you can write whatever you want." And I was convinced. Plus, despite what my younger, teenage brother says, I find my self, at the very least, slightly amusing. If I can bring a smile to a person's face, what more could I ask? Besides a million dollars that is.
In this, my first post, I want to share with you, my readers, some pertinent statistics regarding my life. I am 23 years old, female, and currently single. I live and work in Southwest Michigan and went to school at Grand Valley State University. I absolutely love listening to music, reading, watching movies, and spending time with my family.
Anyone who reads this blog is welcome to comment, but I do ask that it be respectful. This will be a place where I speak my opinions freely. If you don't agree with me, that's okay. If you call me names, that's not okay. I feel like that is a fairly easy rule to follow.
And so, gentle reader, I bid you adieu until next I post, and wish you all many happy returns.
The most important problem, which I touched on earlier, is my opinionated nature. In journalism, most newspapers are looking for fair, balanced, non-biased, objective (the list of adjectives could go forever) articles. I am a very talented writer....of editorial pieces...my talent does not run to hard news. Woodward and Bernstein I am not.
My second major problem with the aforementioned menial jobs is, to be frank, money. If you are alive (and since you are reading this, I assume you to be) you cannot be unaware of the economic problems facing pretty much everyone on the planet. I, sadly, am not a celebrity and therefore have just as many bills to pay as every other person. My biggest debt is my college education that I am not even using...gee dad, so glad I listened to you when you said this was an investment in my future.
My third problem, and the least important, is that I lack a virtue known to most as patience. I just don't want to wait to earn my opinion column, I want to write it now.
When I am not at my day job, I read. Books, magazines, newspapers, and blogs. I said myself, "Self, everyone has a blog, you can too. Maybe no one will read it, but that's okay, because you can write whatever you want." And I was convinced. Plus, despite what my younger, teenage brother says, I find my self, at the very least, slightly amusing. If I can bring a smile to a person's face, what more could I ask? Besides a million dollars that is.
In this, my first post, I want to share with you, my readers, some pertinent statistics regarding my life. I am 23 years old, female, and currently single. I live and work in Southwest Michigan and went to school at Grand Valley State University. I absolutely love listening to music, reading, watching movies, and spending time with my family.
Anyone who reads this blog is welcome to comment, but I do ask that it be respectful. This will be a place where I speak my opinions freely. If you don't agree with me, that's okay. If you call me names, that's not okay. I feel like that is a fairly easy rule to follow.
And so, gentle reader, I bid you adieu until next I post, and wish you all many happy returns.
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